When Functional Isn't Good Enough

“It takes two to make a thing go right.
It takes two to make it outta sight.”
--Rob Base

At some point in our human journey, each of us will hit the proverbial "wall." This is the place where the problem is intractable, without a solution. The external circumstances of the wall are varied and often unexpected. But the internal experience is universal: struggle, suffering, exhaustion, and burnout.

Sometimes dynamic events will transpire to help release the particular life situation that is beleaguering us and with slight adaptation, we find our footing again and carry on with acceptable functionality. Other times, we are not so fortunate. At these times, we realize the unsatisfactory, undesirable or downright shitty circumstances aren't going to change...until we do.

Frequently, when we are in desperate need of change, this is when we discover that our programmed ways of being -- the beliefs, skills, habits, and personas we have cultivated over the course of our lives to fulfill our needs and desires -- are inadequate to get us to a better situation. We must learn new beliefs, skills, habits, and personas.

But there's a catch. As adults, we no longer have the blank slate of childhood that makes us easily malleable. In addition, most of us have plenty of external feedback from our adult responsibilities, e.g., family and work obligations, pushing back to keep us in our heretofore "persona comfort zone," which has become everything but comfortable.

Getting Unstuck

We may set about to "solve" the "problem" using our same beliefs, skills, habits, and personas in different ways only to find we may have wrestled some change into our situation but have "solved" nothing. This is the sign that you need an unbiased, nonjudgemental, professionally trained external ally.

It's a very rare athlete who can coach themself to achieve beyond their comfort zone. It's a rare human being who can coach themself to new ways of being that are not only beyond their comfort zone, but sometimes not even within their programmed belief system or accepted by their peer group or family unit.

I invite you to consider the following formula:

Subconscious Drives + Internal and External Conflicts = Symptoms

Rather than problems to be solved, symptoms are messages to be understood. In the accurate understanding of your symptoms, answers you would have never previously been aware of will be revealed. This, in turn, mitigates the struggle and opens space to find sustainable, authentic answers that will fill you with peace, hope, and motivation to stay the course and make your goals manifest.

Understanding the Self

The funny thing about understanding the self is there is a limit to your own abilities. You can throw every book you've ever read at it. Journal your innermost thoughts for years. Pick apart and analyze until you backtrack so many times you start to confuse yourself.

What I have found through my own personal experience is the magic happens when you add another person. It is only in relationship with another person that we are able to recognize where the real pain points are and the subconscious programmed limiting beliefs that are holding us back by creating conflict.

Coaching accomplishes rapidly what might take years to sort out on your own through skilled reflective listening and strategic, powerful questioning. Coaching reflects yourself back to you so you are able to see your entire being from a different perspective. This new perspective brings new information that otherwise would remain hidden and out of reach. When these blocks melt away, the solution is usually revealed in easy and miraculous ways.

Breaking Through Limiting Beliefs

By synthesizing old ways of being with new insights, habits, skills and personal or transpersonal personas, you can make positive change happen. It takes desire, practice and kind support to help you stay on track and be accountable to yourself. This is where reflection and repetition is key to make change sustainable by aligning and empowering your will. And again, this is where an equal partner is invaluable in gently, but firmly, reminding you of where you desire to go and why.

In the words of Rob Base, "It takes two to make a thing go right. It takes two to make it outta sight." I would be honored to be your plus one.

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About me: My life's mission is to ameliorate suffering on planet Earth. I aim to do this by helping one person at a time realize his/her/their full potential at whatever state of conscious being they reside. My coaching specialty is called Psychosynthesis, a modality based in transpersonal psychology. While I complete my ICF-certified, hands-on training, I am offering low-cost coaching sessions. Schedule a free, 30-minute chat to see if we are the right fit.